HM THEMES

Fire. You wish you had been warned about heat like this. It swells and threatens to scorch you, and all you can taste is smoke. You are a forest, he is the match. You open your arms. He is very nearly a man, hardly any boy left. You imagine his grin, how his hands will feel on your thighs, the inside of your wrist. You part your lips when he slides the cigarette in, gasp when he exhales. You shift your weight away when he sits close. You wonder if the green dress was a good idea, if it brings out your eyes or hides them. Your hands shake. The addiction settles. It becomes a part of you, a phantom limb. His words are your bread, your wine, your life raft. In his eyes you are beautiful, and so you are. You accept the weight of him, his masculinity, his heavy hands. You accept that you will always part for him, lay yourself out on the bed for him, wait for him. You accept that he will stay for hours, docked at your port. You accept what this means. You accept the dark places inside of him. You flush when you think of all that you have promised him. You wonder what your promises are worth. They feel empty in your mouth before and even afterwards there is no weight. But he comes, and you part. He makes sure you live up to your promises. You have tried to hold on but he pushes. Softly, he tells you that you are beautiful. That beautiful things are meant to be loved. But you feel small. Small enough to be folded into eighths, to be slipped quietly into a pocket. You know this is not permanent. You and he both know that beautiful things fade. You know he will leave. But you don’t, however, know if this will hurt, if you will feel anything at all in his absence. But there have already been nights without him. Afternoons spent out shopping with your mother where you are so overcome with longing that your body hums. But you can’t burn forever. There is only so much of you that is flammable. Eventually the forest will end, and the girl will begin.

August 26th ∙ 151
tagged: prose  personal 
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    Fire. You wish you had been warned about heat like this. It swells and threatens to scorch you, and all you can taste is...
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    Fire. You wish you had been warned about heat like this. It swells and threatens to scorch you, and all you can taste is...
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    I don’t relate, but this is lovely.
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    Fire. You wish you had been warned about heat like this. It swells and threatens to scorch you, and all you can taste is...
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