The Bad Beginning: "To Beatrice- darling, dearest, dead."

The Reptile Room: "For Beatrice- My love for you shall live forever. You, however, did not."

The Wide Window: "For Beatrice –I would much prefer it if you were alive and well."

The Miserable Mill: "To Beatrice –My love flew like a butterfly until death swooped down like a bat. As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said, 'That's the end of that.'"

The Austere Academy: "For Beatrice –You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave."

The Ersatz Elevator: "For Beatrice –When we met my life began, soon afterward, yours ended."

The Vile Village: "For Beatrice –When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are."

The Hostile Hospital: "For Beatrice –Summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you is even colder."

The Carnivorous Carnival: "For Beatrice –Our love broke my heart, and stopped yours."

The Slippery Slope: "For Beatrice –When we first met, you were pretty, and I was lonely. Now I am pretty lonely."

The Grim Grotto: "For Beatrice –Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down."

The Penultimate Peril: "For Beatrice -No one could extinguish my love, or your house."

The End: "For Beatrice -I cherished, you perished. The world's been nightmarished."