HM THEMES
(10)

You want your Lolitas,
your black coffee,
your anonymous trysts.

You want cigarettes dangling
from pearly white teeth.

You want clean bed sheets
and to redefine the word ‘virginize.’

You want to collect hip bones
like some girls collect charm bracelets.

You want bodies,
the soft, smooth bodies,
the bodies worried down into
trembling leaves, budding forests.

You want, too,
the mermaids lost at sea.

You want to be the Captain,
the sailors, the Skipper,
the first mate.

You’d make love to the boat if you could—
anything the mermaids might have touched, loved.

You would drown yourself
trying to reach the hull,
trying to curve yourself around
the keel like a lover to a sleeping body,
the moth to the old flame.

They’d find fish scales in your folded up hands
like the unspoken prayer you tried to say
before the water got in and bottled you up.

Wanting, look what it does.

It can sink a ship.
It can sink a man.

April 25th ∙ 445
tagged: personal  poetry  the drowning of the captain 
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