I know a boy who called his girlfriend’s body a “crime scene.” Dad, my body is a crime scene. My body is lint and gasoline and matchstick. My body is a brush fire. It’s ticking, Dad, a slow alarm. I have rain boots. Lots of them. It isn’t raining anymore. The words are coming back, Dad. The way they fit and jump in the mouth. I want ice cream and long letters. I want to read long love letters but I don’t think he loves me. I think I’m used up. I think I’m the grit under his nails, the girl who looks good in pictures. I don’t think he loves me. I think they broke me, Dad. I think I drink too much and it’s because they broke me. I heard about two girls recently, two women crushed like cherries in a boy’s jaw. It opened me, Dad. My body is melted wax, it is ripe and stink and bent. It is a mistake. I walk like an apology. I don’t hate men, Dad, I don’t. I want a washing machine. I want someone else to do the dishes, someone to walk the dog. I have a hornet in my head, Dad. A hornet. She’s an angry bitch — she hurls herself against my skull. She stings. And stings. I know I don’t make sense, Dad. This is the problem. I’m a sick girl, a crazy wishbone. I have razors under my tongue. I’m sorry I cut you, Dad, I’m so—so sorry. I gave you a card for Father’s Day once, it said you were my hero. You are. Your laugh is a thunderclap, you love like surgery. I think they broke me, Dad. I can’t erase their faces. I want to swim, Dad. Remember when I used to hopscotch? I used to make you laugh. My feet are hot. The bottoms of my feet are scorched sand, August asphalt. My body is a slug, a mob of sticky wet rot. No one touches me anymore because I’m rot. Because my body is a spill no one wants to clean up. They cracked me open, Dad, I know you don’t want to hear about it. You don’t want to hear how they scissored me, how they gnawed me like raw meat. No one wants to hear how they made me drink lemon juice, how they kicked the dog, how they upturned the furniture, no one wants to hear how my skin turned to a dark thick of purple and black and lead. I watch the homeless a lot, Dad. I watched a man with a cup of coins and chips of skin carved out of his face. He had freckles. He needs medicine, Dad. He needs to stop the hornet. My body is a hive. I am red ants and jellyfish. A yellow sickness. My body is a used condom in an alley in Jersey City. I don’t think he loves me, Dad. My body is a fetus in biohazard tank. A Polaroid pinned to a cork board in Brooklyn. I think I’m hurt, Dad. I think I was the tough girl for too long. My body is a wafer, a thin, soft melt on a choir boy’s tongue.

Jeanann Verlee, “Communion”
  1. geanuu likes this
  2. f-ragilespine likes this
  3. teenageurie reblogged this from mcstafa
  4. mcstafa reblogged this from fypoetry
  5. 2cc48a likes this
  6. tellmehowtofeellikewedid reblogged this from fypoetry
  7. lorases likes this
  8. marlinsandthetrout reblogged this from teenageurie
  9. nowitsaaron reblogged this from mcstafa
  10. nowitsaaron likes this
  11. fuuucckk likes this
  12. regisfiliaaa likes this
  13. nasedbab likes this
  14. foreverklass likes this
  15. ohmoomers reblogged this from fypoetry
  16. hernameisfate reblogged this from amanda-erin
  17. nahdiggory likes this
  18. angolo-di-paradiso likes this
  19. violetentropy likes this
  20. amanda-erin reblogged this from fypoetry
  21. notverylovely likes this
  22. narzisse reblogged this from fypoetry
  23. lil-indy likes this
  24. feloncholia likes this
  25. thinking-of-tea likes this
  26. iamohsocoy likes this
  27. wealthyarabetiquette likes this
  28. ethicals likes this
  29. amanda-erin likes this
  30. projectiledamage likes this
  31. evelynepav likes this
  32. ablooms reblogged this from fypoetry
  33. lareinesanstete likes this
  34. thedepthsofoursoul reblogged this from fypoetry
  35. st0p-this-lovesick-melody reblogged this from fypoetry
  36. st0p-this-lovesick-melody likes this
  37. ohanapeasants likes this
  38. love-forgiveme reblogged this from fypoetry
  39. fypoetry reblogged this from thegraveyardpoets
  40. domisimone reblogged this from fleurishes
  41. shot-of-this likes this
  42. thingslikelifeandliving likes this
  43. notforlack reblogged this from fleurishes
  44. miseryfuckingchastain likes this
  45. birthcontrol-babe reblogged this from fleurishes
  46. mansardroofs likes this
  47. perpetuellementirreel reblogged this from spun-jude
  48. perpetuellementirreel likes this
  49. megsturbait likes this
  50. spun-jude reblogged this from fleurishes